Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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