I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize