you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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