oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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