Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize