I'm laying in your front yard are you home
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
