I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
