there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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