umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
