You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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