u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
