The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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