Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
