That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
