He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
