Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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