i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
