I can't breathe out the right side of my face
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
