whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
