1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
