he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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