i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
cat food counts as protein by the way
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
