: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
