The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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