you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
