We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
