i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
