Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
