Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I smell like Dick and happiness
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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