Banned from zoo.
Again?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
