4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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