We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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