I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
