i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
