So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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