Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize