she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
