I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
