It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
