U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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