So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
