I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
