big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
