Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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