smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
