I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
