worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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