i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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