I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
