I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i've created a new STD.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
