I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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