i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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