whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
