I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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