I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
