belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
