I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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