I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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