i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
