gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i drank out of a bidet.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
