"it" just moved
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
