He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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