Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
