Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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