Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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