I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
