I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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